Influences That Create Who We Are

We are influenced by everything around us. The weather, our culture, news, available entertainment, our friends, family, social media When I get curious about something to the point that I am going to look into it the sources I use, either to educate myself or to support a thought or an idea I currently hold, that shapes my understanding. This is the case for me when  I first took on the task to educate myself with a greater understanding of God's existence and the history the Bible.

I started by buying a bible for myself but I found it difficult for myself to study it on my own. I found it more helpful to listen to someone who could make the scriptures more relatable. When I came across a guy named Mark Driscoll, I thought I found the teacher I needed.

Mark Driscoll is a passionate, "beat Christian men up" kind of preacher. He was the first preacher that I listened to that I felt like was preaching my life. I even at one point, when I first started going to church, tried to get them to just broadcast his sermons.

I started diving into the message of the gospel in June 2013. At that time I worked as a driver for a company. My route took me about an hour outside the city and I got into the habit of making my own music playlist. This one particular day in June I struggled to stay awake. I had the window down, the music blaring, and my coffee right there. The environment I needed to stay awake.

Before I came to Christ I used to give myself pep talks to encourage myself in any and all types of situations. I look back at those times and laugh because in those moments I was blindly praying. As I was falling asleep I started to encourage myself. "You can do it Ryan, you are almost there. You just need something to wake you up! That's it!" Not too long after my last bit of energy, I felt my tiredness winning the battle.

I felt my eye lids close as I passed under a bridge on the highway and as I came through the other side it felt like I drove through a shadow of a person. The feeling woke me up instantly and gave me goosebumps. I couldn't explain what happened whether I dreamed it or my brain was playing tricks on me but either way it worked, what ever it was.

I got to my first stop and came to the conclusion that I needed to listen to someone talking. Radio wasn't always reliable because I would always drive out of range on this route. I noticed an app on my phone called "Mars Hill" that my now wife downloaded. So I opened it up and the first series was titled "Who Do You Think You Are?" 

I was intrigued. At this point I had no idea it was a sermon podcast. That day I listened to 4 one hour sermons. I loved them. I agreed with everything Mark was saying, especially how he was calling out Christian men for being hypocritical. 

That summer I think I listened to 200 different sermons and I was really getting to know my bible. I tried reading it on my own but would get lost in the different era or confused by pronunciations that I decided it was better if I just learned from Mark rather then the Bible; allow him to teach it to me rather then me misusing the scriptures. 

I thought I was being smart. I wasn't. I remember getting into heated arguments with other Christians over minuscule matters which now seem like nothing. I didn't realize it then, but I wasn't a Jesus follower. I was a Mark follower. This was not Mark's fault at all. I think sometimes we need to put a face behind our purpose, and as a Christian, that face should be Jesus' face not a teacher or pastor or writer.

Back in October 2013 there was an Act Like Men conference in a city nearby the one I live. I wanted to go solely because Mark Driscoll was one of the speakers. A group of guys in my now wife's friend group were going and invited me along.

The conference based their message around the verse 1 Corinthians 16:13-14.

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

James McDonald was another pastor who spoke and he said something that has stuck with me still to this day. He called all the pastors in the crowd to stand up, then told us to look at them. He then said that these leaders in our church's have heard our criticisms plus more before. So instead of criticizing them, listen to what they are saying. The truth is God has put them there for us. Accept them as a gift and they will be one. Treat them as a burden and they will be one. We make the choice, but one builds each other up and the other tears each other down. There, James spoke to me directly. I was comparing every pastor to Mark and held them to that standard. 

After that conference I went home and decided to accept the teachers God provides in my life. The next Sunday a potential new lead pastor came to our church to preach and then the members were to vote whether they wanted him to fill that role. God's timing amazes me all the time.

I'm an audible learner. I wish I knew this when I was in school. I struggled to read. I viewed it as a chore and to be honest I didn't read one book in high school. For one of my book reports, I made up the ending of the story because I didn't want to finish reading. 

I got a book I wanted to read called "Jesus is Greater then Religion" by Jefferson Bethke. I couldn't start it let alone finish it without falling asleep or skimming multiple pages before realizing my mind was wondering. Shortly after getting the book, I realized I could listen to it on Audible. I got audiobook and was blown away by it. 

At this point in my life I was working on a dairy farm milking cows, which allowed me to wear head phones while I worked. I would listen to a book in a shift or maybe two. I was spending quite a bit of money for each book and was looking for a book that I could listen to over and over. Then it dawned on me. Why don't I get the Bible? So I did. 

I listened to the whole Bible from front to back in about two weeks. I could not believe how foolish I was. When listening to the Bible, I heard profound wisdom that I was giving Mark Driscoll credit for until that point. It was then that I promised God that I would give him the credit for all my understanding. Whether I learn it from self discovery, a book, his word, someone else, or even by life's lessons. God is the one who has provided the environment for me to come to an understanding that satisfies my hunger to want to know more. 

So I ask you, what is influencing you? If it isn't God then who do you give the credit to for who you have become? Do you give it to yourself? If so are you being honest with yourself? 

Thank you for reading, I hope you have a blessed day.